I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
