i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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