So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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