im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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