Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
