The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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