He kissed a someone with a penis
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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