He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
