i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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