So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize