How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
