What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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