I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
