Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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