So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
