is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
