She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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