New low: just hacked my moms facebook
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
