You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize