butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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