can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
