you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i think i just lost a toe
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
