I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
