SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
