we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
