Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
