ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
