dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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