do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
