I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
