I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The beer is more important than you right now.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
