We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize