Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
