I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
