Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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