I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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