Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
