When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
