Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
