Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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