Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
