Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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