he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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