There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
