I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
