god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
