My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
