I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
