who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize