It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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