I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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