I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
