we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
