I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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