The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize