I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
