Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
