she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
