He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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