i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
