they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
