Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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