Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
