Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
