the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
should my penis look like a turkey
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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