The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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