weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
we're so committed to being not committed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
