I love black thongs
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
